An open-letter to Mel — and Jewry
Mel Gibson's powerful and on-target apology to the Jewish community for his anti-Semitic tirade was infinitely better than his weak and unsatisfying first statement. It would be a mistake for the Jewish community to reciprocate with a let's-kiss-and-make-up response. Jewish tradition demands something more, and Mr. Gibson deserves something better.
Like Christians, Jews see repentance as a supremely important
principle. There are key differences, however, in our
understanding of how one achieves this goal. According to many
Jewish thinkers over hundreds of years, at least four components
are crucial. The first is verbal confession. Declaring one's
guilt, slowly and deliberately, makes it just a bit harder —
but not impossible — to continue the error with equanimity.
This must be accompanied, however, by complete cessation of the
offending behavior, as well as sincere regret for the misdeed.
The fourth is perhaps the most difficult element: there has to be
a game plan for the future, an acceptance of a way to change that
is real, not self-delusional. As a play in four acts, Mr. Gibson
gets favorable reviews for the first. Perhaps Jewish thought can
help him with the other three.
If Mr. Gibson asked us, this is what we would tell him:
Anti-Semitism and prejudice are no less a problem than alcohol
abuse. They should be dealt with similarly. You can't deal with
an alcohol problem through a photo-op with the head of the local
detox program. Twelve step programs — the programs that
really work — require slow change, growing self-awareness,
and lots of time. Not coincidentally, they require the privacy of
secure surroundings, far from public scrutiny. We will help you
understand your personal demons, but only away from the cameras
and the mikes. Redemption will come through the small, still
voice of conscience, not at a press conference.
We would first show you what you already seem to know — that
words can hurt, and words can kill. Naveed Haq, who shot up the
Jewish Community Center in Seattle a few days ago, believed that
Jews have too much power, the same idea that you expressed at
your arrest. More importantly, while you were telling the world
how Jews are behind all world conflict, two million Israelis were
sitting in bomb shelters, shielding themselves from thousands of
missiles, each equipped with tiny ball-bearings meant to tear
into human flesh. These came compliments of Iranian President
Ahmadinejad and his Hezbollah proxy Nasrallah, both of whom have
incited their masses to regard Jews as the source of all evil and
described as the highest value martyrdom in the course of ridding
the world of them.
Words uttered by powerful people can't be easily undone. A great
Jewish rabbi once likened them to feathers from a torn pillow,
scattered by the wind. There is just no way to stuff them all
back in again.
That is not to say that we will spurn you. Far from it. We would
point you in the direction of the next steps. We would look with
empathy and support as you explored the reasons for your feelings.
Frankly, growing up with the father you did, it would be
difficult for some of his hatred of Jews not to rub off in some
manner or form. In a word, what you need to do is confront every
negative stereotype you own, and understand what is wrong with
them. You need to study some Jewish history, and learn about who
Jews are at the core. You need to explode the myth of Jewish
power by learning about two thousand years of Jewish
powerlessness. You need to hear the personal stories of Holocaust
survivors, and then stand in silence — alone — at
Auschwitz and contemplate the natural trajectory of hatred. You
need to visit Israel, to understand the miracle of her existence,
and why those who wish to destroy her will come after Christians
next. You need to meet Jews who devoted their lives to making
this a better world for all its citizens.
In Jewish thought, repentance is a gift from G-d. But G-d
withholds that gift as long as the penitent has not done all that
he or she could to undo the damage. Contrition, even heartfelt
contrition, is insufficient if not coupled with action. (Christians
call a casual approach to contrition "cheap grace.")
When you thoroughly understand the groundlessness of anti-Semitism,
you will actually be in a better position than most to start
stuffing the feathers back into the pillow. Precisely because you
are an accomplished film star, you can become a powerful example
and articulate teaching force, teaching others why hating Jews is
both unwarranted and potentially lethal.
This, too, is part of Jewish teaching about repentance. When you
do it the right way, you wind up not just erasing past errors,
but actually ahead of where you were before the crime. The
unfortunate incident this week could become the impetus for great
moral achievement. It is not an easy script to follow, and it
cannot be read or rehearsed. It has to be written from scratch by
no one but yourself. It many be the most important role you have
ever played.
We are not prepared to squander such an opportunity. We
appreciate your apology, and wait to see it turned into a fuller
repentance. We will cheer you on — but only from the
sidelines. If and when you get there, you can be certain that we
will welcome you. You will not find a better fan club than the
Jewish community warming up to a foe turned friend. We will be
watching hopefully for your next steps. If you take them, we will
not let you down.
02 Aug 2006